breastfeeding, postpartum support, trust your body

How is a lactation consultant like a nursing bra? Both should make you feel comfortable & supported!

This is my second post in a series about lactation support.  Check out my previous post “Differing models of lactation advice: Go with the flow.” to read about different approaches to understanding breastfeeding. 

In many cities these days, mothers are blessed with lots of options for where to turn when breastfeeding doesn’t go smoothly.  Most hospitals have lactation consultants on staff.  Many nurses working in labor and delivery or postpartum care positions receive some lactation training.  Obstetric and pediatric practices often have lactation consultants in office.  More and more private practice IBCLCs are finding a niche in the community.  There are breastfeeding peer counselors available through La Leche League and WIC.  If you’re lucky, you live in a place with all of these options and more .   So, how do you know where to start?  And, once you’ve visited with one or more of these resources, how do you know if you’re getting the best help for YOU?

Each mother and baby is special and many variables exist  within the nursing relationship.  Breastfeeding is an art, not just a science, and while the mechanics are very important, so is the emotion.  There aren’t always going to be easy answers or quick fixes to breastfeeding problems (in fact, I’m always wary of any solution which promises to be quick or easy).  In many cases, mothers are able to learn that the things they thought were indications of a problem are just examples of normal newborn nursing behavior.  But, in those cases when a very real challenge or problem appears, getting the proper help is vital.

You SHOULD feel one of more of the following after a visit with a breastfeeding support person if that person is a good fit for you and your situation:

* Relief –Whether it is physical relief from painful latch or emotional relief, some sort of lightening should occur.  You may say, “Ah, it feels much better now when she latches.” or “Thank goodness.  I’m glad to know this is normal.” or “My burning question has been answered.”  If you do not feel actual immediate relief, you should at least feel…

Hope – Because it takes time to break old habits and train new, and because healing isn’t instantaneous, you may need to continue practicing techniques and tips you learn in your visit to acheive noticeable results.  But you should at least feel that some progress is being made and you are on the right track to improvement.  At the very least, you should feel that your support person is committed to helping you figure out what WILL work if this path does not.  So, you may be thinking, “We are working on this and it will get better.” or “We are going to figure this out.”

*Increased Confidence – Notice I say “increased” and not just “confidence”.  For many mothers, confidence is something we must develop over time as we learn about our babies and how to trust our intuition and reason.  Breastfeeding can be a huge part of gaining confidence IF a mother receives positive messages of support.  Your lactation pro should encourage this feeling in you by helping you to see all the things you are doing right and by recognizing that your baby is a perfect individual.  Some confident things you may say to yourself include, “I am a good mother.  I am seeking answers for my baby and my self.”  or “My baby and my body work beautifully.” or “I can make enough milk to feed my baby.” or “We are learning together.”

Your lactation consultant or counselor SHOULD:

-Be respectful of your personal space.  Of course she is on your team to talk to you about your breasts, but she should explain what she is doing and/or gain permission from you before touching you or your baby.

-Be respectful of your concerns and feelings.  She should listen to what you believe to be the problem, ask questions to gain more information, and understand that fear, love, anxiety, exhaustion, and many other feelings can come in to play surrounding breastfeeding.

-Address the specific problem which concerns you.  She may understand other issues which are linked to your concern as well and it may be necessary to solve one problem before a related one can be fixed.  But, it is not up to her to decide for you that you should fix something which you don’t define as a problem.  

-Provide a follow-up plan.  You should understand such specifics as “How long should I try this before deciding it isn’t working?” and “What is the next step if this doesn’t solve the problem?”  She should also provide a clear understanding of what sort of follow-up care is provided within her fee if applicable (further visits, phone help, etc).

A lactation support person SHOULD NOT:

-Dismiss your concerns.  This includes problems with pain during nursing.  If her answer is “Everything looks fine.  It shouldn’t hurt,” move on to someone who will help you figure out the source of the pain and solve the problem.

-Make you feel worse.  No guilt.  No fear mongering.  No shaming of your choices or your body.  Negativity is not going to bring about a postive result.

No lactation support person has all the answers to every question.  All professionals have limits and make mistakes.  And that’s fine!  If the person helping you doesn’t have the answer to your question or problem, she should either be willing to search for it to your satisfaction or direct you to someone else who can.  If you don’t feel you’ve gotten the help, support, or answers you need, DON’T GIVE UP!  Ask someone else!  Keep asking until you feel satisfied.  You and your baby deserve good support.

And, most of all, remember that YOU are the expert on YOUR body and YOUR baby.  While medical professionals and breastfeeding support people are experts in certain fields and have seen lots of babies and mothers, no one is smarter than you about what is right regarding you and your baby.  If an expert answer just doesn’t ring true with your gut, you have the right to get another opinion.

Stay tuned or sign up for email updates to read my next post in this series, in which I’ll delve more into the who, what, where, why, and how of the different lactation support people who may be available in your community.

breastfeeding, trust your body, Uncategorized

Differing models of lactation advice: Go with the flow.

Newborn baby breastfeeding
Newborn baby breastfeeding (Photo credit: HoboMama)

This is the first post in a series about lactation support. 

Let me begin by saying: I am not a certified lactation consultant or lactation counselor.  I am a mother of 4 who has been breastfeeding for the better part of 9 years, a trained La Leche League leader, and a voracious reader who geeks out on all things birth and breastfeeding related.  I do not receive money for assisting mothers with breastfeeding.  I provide breastfeeding information and support, not advice, much like in my role as a birth doula.  This post is NOT intended as medical advice or as a contradiction of medical advice. 

It’s no secret that there are various models for looking at birth. We may hear or use terms such as “technocratic model”, “medical model”, “holistic model”, or “midwifery model” when referring to ways of caring for mothers and babies throughout pregnancy, labor, birth, and the immediate postpartum period. It is only recently that I’ve begun to realize there are vastly differing philosophies and methods for veiwing lactation support as well.   This concept has come up often over the last few months in my conversations with mothers about the sort of breastfeeding advice, help, and encouragement they’ve received.  It’s something I want to explore more because I believe each mother and baby deserves the best possible support and,  just like each mother/baby is unique, there is no one-size-fits-all method to dealing with breastfeeding issues.  Different mothers and different situations call for differing methods of care. 

One model/philosophy says birth and breastfeeding are rife with opportunity for “failure” on both the part of mother and baby and thus require management, intervention, and contraptions to work at all.

On the flip side, the other model/philosophy assumes that mother and baby possess the inherent skills and wisdom to succeed at birth and breastfeeding and that these processes work best without interruption or intervention, and with gentle and empowering support.

While there are times when intensive treatments, techniques, and interventions are necessary, there are other times when these things are totally out of place and actually harmful.   As the adage goes, “if it ain’t broke…”  Telling women their breasts, milk supply, babies, or intuition are faulty from the start and need to be “fixed” even when all is well can be damaging to the breastfeeding relationship and the mother’s psyche.

Both modes of viewing birth and breastfeeding can become self fulfilling prophecies by locking mother and baby in a cycle. Breaking down a woman’s confidence in her body’s ability to produce milk for her baby, adding steps to her breastfeeding routine, or putting machines or devices between her and baby as a matter of course (as opposed to as a therapeutic means or treatment of an actual problem) can interrupt the very thing which is best for milk production and mother/baby satisfaction: skin to skin breastfeeding. Conversely, building mother’s confidence in herself and instilling positive feelings about breastfeeding can help her persevere even in the face of challenges and avoid unnecessary anxiety which can disrupt the natural process.

Why does this matter to me?  Because I have witnessed how a certain kind of advice can be dangerous to the breastfeeding relationship, and, perhaps more importantly, to a woman’s ability to trust her intuition, her body and her baby.

The effects of this breakdown can be far-reaching, showing up in other areas of mothering and life.  So often, when mothers come to me with breastfeeding questions, I find with a little further listening that there is something else beneath their concerns.  They are looking for someone to reassure them and give them permission to trust themselves.  They are looking for someone to say, “You aren’t broken and you never were.  You are doing a wonderful job mothering your baby.”  This is also true of mothers who have lost the breastfeeding portion of the mothering relationship either due to physical reasons or because of lack of accurate information and support.  “You aren’t broken and you never were.  You are doing a wonderful job mothering your baby.”

What I wish more than anything in this line of work is for happiness for mothers and babies. High confidence, relaxed and loving time together, and sufficient milk supply can all contribute to happier pairs.  All mother/babies deserve proper information, support, and encouragement for their lactation success (however they define it).

I want to hear from you (even if it’s to disagree with me!)

 What kind of lactation support has been helpful or harmful to you? 

In my next post, I will discuss how to choose a lactation support person, and how to know if  the lactation counseling you recieve is a good fit for your needs. In the third post of this series, I’ll be talking about the different “players” in the lactation support “game”, their different roles, and how they can help you.  Check back or sign up to receive updates via email.

pregnancy, preparation for birth, trust your body

Birth as you Live; Live as you Birth

I love the quote (and I’m still looking for its origins, help appreciated), “You birth the way you live.” It’s a powerful statement. Birth is a journey, a gate we pass through into an unknown place. So many of our life experiences and transitions are like births. Some of these gates we pass through feeling afraid, alone, ignorant, unready, judgmental. But we also have the option of passing through each gate feeling empowered, vibrant, supported, prepared, joyful, connected, and open.

The gift I want to offer to my students and clients is the opportunity to “Live the way you birth.” Birth can be a lesson if we know how to learn from it. What if pregnancy or childbirth classes could help you hone the skills to enter into other life situations and transitions feeling all the positive emotions listed above?

My hope is to help couples take hold of some of the following skills and more:

-Reading and understanding research and evidence

-Getting in touch with intuition

-Making healthy choices based on evidence AND intuition

-Communicating with family members and healthcare providers

-Tapping into inner strength and coping mechanisms

-Building confidence in self and body

-Connecting with community and support systems

-Knowing how to feel at peace in the face of stressful situations

With each new group of students, my goal is to tailor the content of the class to fit their individual needs and strengths. I would love to be part of your learning journey during this pregnancy. For more information on taking part in one of my class series, check out my website.

dandelion (Photo credit: Wikipedia)