Have you ever been in any the following situations?
You are at the pediatrician’s office for your child’s 3 month well baby visit. Your pediatrician is recommending something that just doesn’t “feel right” to you but you don’t think you ought to disagree with him. You’re scared that you’ll make the wrong choice under pressure.
Your mother-in-law has spent the last couple of hours caring for your child. When you arrive to pick him up, you notice that she has completely ignored some very specific instructions you gave her about his care. You feel enraged but bite your tongue because you wonder if you might be making a big deal out of something that really isn’t.
A friend just heard you casually mention something about your parenting which is different from her own methods. She is making little snarky comments that sound like she is just joking around but actually make you feel doubtful, angry, and hurt.
You are out at the store with your child. He starts throwing a tantrum because he wants something he can’t have. A total stranger gives you the stink eye. You feel like you must be bright red because you are burning up with embarrassment. Your vision is blurry and your mind is racing and you feel like would do just about anything to get your kid to be quiet RIGHT NOW, even if that something is totally out of line with the parenting principles you want to practice.
You just had a new baby and you feel totally unprepared and freaked out by EVERY. SINGLE. DECISION. you have to make, from what kind of diapers to use to how much you should hold him, to how many layers he should be wearing and on and on. You are so nervous that you’ll make the wrong choice about something or that you’re just not cut out for this parenting thing.
Based on my experience as a parent and a human being, I would venture to guess that pretty much every parent out there has felt all of these things in some form at some time or other. So, why is it that some moms seem so confident and “on top of things”? Do they know some secret?
What if you could learn some skills that could help you to feel that sense of confidence? What if you could learn how to really trust your own wisdom as a mother and could find freedom and joy as a result? What if, instead of struggling with doubts about yourself and your choices, you could stand strong in knowing you are doing a great job?
I will be the first to tell you that the greatest challenges I have ever faced have come out of seemingly small moments like the ones listed above. These are the sorts of moments that bring out feelings we never knew in such intensity. Moments that shine a cold light on questions we never wanted to face. Moments that make us feel like we are being tested. And often, like we are failing that test.
I remember once seeing a woman at the grocery fighting with her son while I, too, was struggling just to pick out groceries and put them in the cart while keeping my own sons out of trouble. The other mother and I made eye contact and smiled at one another. I made a joke to her about motherhood being the fast track to enlightenment, whether we want it or not. She and I had a moment of connection there as we both realized the truth of this and laughed together.
Now, I’m not calling myself enlightened. But I will say that I have had some amazing teachers over my parenting journey and the four best ones are my sons. Motherhood has truly been an opportunity to open my heart and to let go of some ego and admit just how much I have room to learn. Some days, the best I can say is, “I kept them all alive and fed today.” But, some days, I fall asleep realizing a real breakthrough occurred that day, that a thing I had been trying to make part of me was suddenly sticking. And with every one of those good days, my confidence has grown. Again, I’m not saying I have it all figured out. What I am saying is this: I have been lucky enough to have some beautiful lessons given to me by some brilliant teachers, and I want to share these lessons and the feelings of confidence, freedom, and joy they inspire with as many mother as I am able.
Towards that end, I have created the Confident Mothering workshop. Some of the goals of the workshop are to help each mother who takes part
-Learn to listen to and trust her own intuition. (What is intuition? What does it sound like? Do I even have any? How do I know I can trust it?)
-Filter out other voices that shake her confidence in her choices or don’t contribute to her wellbeing. (Whether these voices are real or imagined.)
-Respond when others disagree with her choices or beliefs as a parent. (Without feeling defensive or confrontational.)
-Develop her own mothering wisdom “style”.
-Enjoy parenting from a place of freedom and joy.
This workshop takes place over the course of two Tuesday evenings together in an intimate setting. We will also have a private facebook group for participants to offer one another support after the face to face meetings so that we can continue to learn and grow together. We’ll use creative tools and techniques to bring on some real “AHA!” moments that will open the way for transformation…
From doubt to confidence
From guilt to freedom
From fear to love!
What have you got to lose? Don’t you deserve to enjoy your journey as much as you can?
The first session of this exciting workshop will take place on February 25th and March 4th. All participants must be registered at least a week ahead of time. For further info about registration, click here.
Update: I will be holding this workshop again May 18 & 25, 2017. Register today!